Hiatus, interlude, intermission, interval, lacuna, layoff, letup, lull, pause, recess, rest.... You get the picture!

So, I have decided to step off this emotional roller coaster that is "dating". Not forever, I'm not sure exactly what this entails, but I am just so burnt out, I need a break. I have put in a lot of effort into going out, online dating, and being proactive in finding someone to have a possible relationship with. Countless dates, some terrible, some fantastic, and I have still yet to find a top contender. There are a few who would make the cut, but then there's a catch, of-freaking-course! So, I've just kinda had an epiphany today... Nothing miraculous, but I'm just mentally & emotionally exhausted. So I figure I'll give myself a few weeks, or a month, or more, who knows...

I cancelled my Match account. When I'm ready to jump back in, I think I'll give eHarmony a try, hopefully there will be more serious guys on there, not just booty calls. I need a guy who is an intellectual. Someone who is kinda offbeat, and has their own beliefs and opinions. Someone who can stand up to me and challenge me. I'm just not finding this. I also need a Man. I don't need to have drop dead gorgeous Unicorn at first sight kinda Man, although that would be just Lovely if I did, haha. But you know what I mean, I want a guy who I'm totally stoked on and want to show off to the world, even if the world doesn't agree with me.

I'm overwhelmed by life, school, Collin, home, divorce, money, soooo many things at once, I just feel like I'll break if I don't take a breather. So yea.

But, if I come across a smokin hot 6'4 Taylor-esque guy, in some nice Levis & a flannel, giving me the eye, while reading about Pathophysiology in Barnes & Nobel, drinking an Iced coffee with earbuds in listening to Passion Pit..... I will definitely Jump on the shit ;)

Living in the West...

So I consider today to be a successful day. Woke up around 9, Starbucks with Collin, lazy Sunday watching some cartoons, then spent the rest of the day at the pool. No showering, bathing suits worn all day. My idea of perfection, basically. So while I was at the pool lounging, I was reading the April Sunset Magazine. I always see tons of recipes I want to make, and never get arounf to it. Well, I went to Trader Joes straight from the pool to pick up a few things, and made an Amazinggg meal! It was also nice that my dad was gone for the evening fro a Chefs dinner, so it was just Collin & I. I made a delicious lemon Cake and Yogurt marinated Chicken and cucumber salad. So good. I havent eaten meat for a long time now.... But this was delish! *I bought the free range organic chicken strips (fresh) from Trader Joes. Its worth the extra $$. I also used the TJ's Greek style yogurt, I think it makes a big taste difference.

Here are the recipes! Not mine, courtesy of Sunset....

Lemon Glazed Layer Cake

2 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 cups sugar *I use TJ's organic evaporated cane juice(sugar)

1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temp

3 large eggs

1 cup lowfat buttermilk

2 tbsp finely shredded lemon juice

Lemon Icing

In large bowl, whisk 3 cups powdered sugar, 1/4 cup melted butter, 1 tbsp lemon zest, and 1/4 cup lemon juice until smooth.

1. Preheat oven to 350. Butter two 8-in round cake pans, line bottoms with parchment, and dust with flour. set aside.

2. In a bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt to mix, set aside.

3. In a large bowl ( I use a mixer) beat butter & sugar, for about 5 minutes. Add eggs one at a time. Add half of flour mixture, then buttermilk, then remaining flour mixture. Then add lemon zest and juice, do not over-beat.

4. POur batter into pans, tap on counter to release air bubbles. Bake about 30-35 minutes. Cool for 10 min in pan, then remove to cool completely.

5. Place one layer on cake plate, and pur half of icing, Top with second layer and spread remaining icing on top. Top with lemon curls.

Grilled yogurt chicken with cucumber salad

4 boned, skinned chicken breast halves, about 1 1/2 lbs

1 1/4 cups plain whole milk yogurt

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp lemon juice

about 2/3 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp red chile flakes

1/4 tsp tumeric

1 tbsp vegetable oil(for grill)

1 large english cucumber, cut in 1/4s length wise then chopped

2 tbsp minced shallot(1 med)

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint leaves

freshly ground pepper, to taste

1. Rinse & pat chicken dry. Remove fat, If thick, pound thin. ( about 1/4 in thick)

2.preheat your grill to about 500 degrees

3.In a med bowl, combine yogurt, cumin,lemon juice, 3/4 tsp salt,chile flakes, and turmeric. Set aside half of mixture. Add chicken to bowl coat on both sides, and let sit at room temp for 10 minutes. ( You can do this ahead and let marinate in fridge)

4. Oil grill. Grill chicken 2-4 minutes covered on one side. Turn over and cook 2-3 minutes more.

5. In a serving bowl, combine cucumber, shallot, mint, reserved yogurt mixture, and combine. Add salt & pepper to taste. Serve with chicken Garnish with mint leaves & lemon slices!

I served this with Jasmine rice, but would be great with Couscous!

I really didnt think Collin would eat this, but he did (with ketchup) and he loved the cucmber salad too! Sweet!

The Force Soup!

So for the past month or so, I've been making this soup weekly. One rainy day I wanted to make soup, and I had a ton of Organic broccoli from the farmers market, so I looked for a recipe on Foodnetwork.com I found a great recipe, "Rosalyn Carter's Cream of Broccoli Soup with No Cream" Amazing! It's so delicious, and so good for you, no heavy ingredients or dairy!

Here is the recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 pound green broccoli, chopped
• 1 small potato, chopped
• 2 1/2 cups light vegetable stock
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 1/2 lemon, juiced
• Lowfat plain yogurt

Directions

Saute onion and garlic in the oil until soft, 3 to 4 minutes.

Add bay leaf, broccoli, potato, and stock. Simmer gently, covered for about 10 minutes, until the broccoli is tender, but still bright green. Remove bay leaf and let cool.

Puree in a blender (not totally smooth). Season to taste, add lemon juice and return to pan to reheat if necessary. Add a dollop of yogurt just before serving.

Now, I omitted the plain yogurt, I felt it wasn't needed. I also used more sock. I use a whole carton of the Trader Joe's Organic Vegetable Stock. I also added 1 cup of frozen peas and 1 cup chopped carrots. Adds some sweetness.

Now, if you would like to incorporate more veggies into the soup, here's what I do. While sauteeing the onion, add swiss chard. You can do two large leaves, or 4-5 like me. It is packed with nutrients & an easy way to use it, as I've had trouble finding ways to eat it before. You can really throw in any veggies you want! I also add some cajun seasoning to give it a kick! Just dont over puree the soup, or it'll be like eating baby food! I also use about 4 large cloves of garlic, and a large onion. Note: with the broccoli, use the stems too! They soften up and add lots of fiber!

I also leave 1 cup of small broccoli pieces aside, uncooked, and then after I've blended the soup, I throw them in and cover, let sit for about 5 minutes. It' gives a nice crunch!

I Hope you enjoy this soup! I seriously have been eating it every day for the past 4 weeks, and it is filling & delicious, and I feel awesome!

Oh, I call it "The Force soup" because I told Collin this is what Yoda eats to stay strong with The Force, and thats why he's green. It didn't really work, he wont eat it, but still calls it Th Force soup :)

January....

Some updates on my life.....

So, I have been Uber stressed out this month, trying so hard to find a job that pays well, is something I would enjoy, and can work around my schedule. Well, I haven't been ale to find anything! It has been so frustrating. And then, I found out that since I'm not starting classes until March, my financial aid doesn't get disbursed until then as well. FML. So, I had a chat with my dad filling him in on the situation. I was worried because I owe him around $500, which I was going to pay him with my aid money. He told me that it was okay that I couldn't pay him until March, and also said that he thought it would be better for me to not get a job, and to focus on Collin & his school work. Since I will get unemployment until mid-April, I do have some income. So that was a big relief, and even though my dad can be bat shit crazy at times and drive me up the walls, I really feel so fortunate for all the support he gives me.

I got Collin's progress report from his teacher, and he isn't doing so great. We've known this, but his teacher is recommending a second year of Kindergarten, because he is so young, she thinks that because he was only 4 at the start of the school year, his fine motor skills just aren't developed enough for him to write well. So I'm struggling with this idea, not because I'm feeling bad about him having to repeat K, but he has so many friends, I'm worried about the social aspect for him being left behind. So, Brian & I are going to try to work extra hard with him, to see if he can catch up.....

Something that also is helpful is that I finally have health insurance again! Yahoo! Now, the downside is that it's Medi-Cal, but I'll take what I can get. I was stressed that if I got hurt, I would have crazy medical bills, etc. I also got approved for foodstamps. Not something I want to exactly brag about, but, I qualify, and being in my situation, as a single mom, full time student, no job, I'm not too good for any extra help. I know that my situation is temporary, and that in a few years, I will be done with school, standing on my own two feet, and not needing any more assitance! It's nice cause it's just like a debit card, and I can use it at TJs, Costco, anywhere. $150 in free food a month will help me out sooo much! I wish I would have done it sooner! And then today, I got a letter in the mail from the State Student aid commission, saying I was awarded $15,000 grant for the school year for National University! I can't even express how amazing this news is! Because National is very expensive, for the three classes Im taking in March, the cost is $4,900, not including books.... I feel like things are finally starting to fall into place!

On the Shoe front... I guess things are going okay, but its really hard for me to let someone in, because I'm afraid of disappointment. So I'm trying to keep my expectations low, and just be patient. I am really smitten with, a certain pair of shoes, but I keep getting mixed signals, and I don't want to over analyze anything.... Trying to not be a crazy complicated girl is kinda tough... I want this pair to fit! Especially when there are Amazzzzzing Unicorns envolved!! :)

xoxox

Shoe Shopping

So I know it's been FOREVER since I've posted. But this past semester, otherwise known as Microbiology was a nightmare insisting of weekly nervous breakdowns about how this class would prevent me from becoming a nurse. But, I survived it I guess. I'm freaking pissed I got a C, I worked so hard, and a 78.4% in the class, I mean c'mon lady, just gimme the B!!!! ok, enough of that.

So after the split with Kory, I really did not want to have to sit around and be single, or man hunt at bars. This brings us to a lovely little creation, Match.com. I was timid about the whole thing, and thought there would not be any good quality men oh there, just weird fat old guys trying to get laid. Well, there are some of those but there are also really really hot guys.... Sometimes weird, and almost 99% are just trying to get laid. Now really. Are you really gonna spend like $30+ to just find cute girls to sleep with, one nite standish? Really? Like can't you just go to PB for that? Really? I mean, it's a freaking pain to fill out the profile, and a lot of work to actively seek out some matches. Really, haven't they ever heard of OnlineBootyCall.com? So after weeding though all the douche-bags, I have found some good contenders. Then I see they are 5'9. FML.... But really, all they really good looking very successful ones who just LOVE kids are freaking short. Grrrrrr. Well, not all of them.

I seem to be having good luck, I guess Im good on paper, errr, screen? This brings me to shoe shopping. I feel like Match.com is a big online shoe store that I cant stop looking at, longingly searching for that perfect fit, style, and comfort. And every girl has to try on shoes, right? So today I will be uh, trying on my third pair of shoes. And this is very odd to me. Going on dates with different guys, consecutively..... I feel like a playa, but I guess this is how one dates, no? So the first pair of Shoes I tried, Im totally smitten with. Tall, funny, tall, cute, tall.... But kinda elusive, like busy working so much, and that just makes me want them more. He's kinda like my Unicorn, Im trying to get him, but idk if its possible. (Oh and, there's a double meaning to the Unicorn there, haha)

Shoes #2, seem like the perfect pair, the ones were all looking for, good on paper, everything Im looking for in a husband, but them you see a tiny smudge on the side and it ruins them. I haven't completely abandoned this one yet, We shall see how things unravel.

And so today I'm going out for lunch to try on pair number 3. A nice Chocolately pair :) *coughahemsharicough* And I really like lunch dates, much better than dinner, for the first date. Less pressure, don't have to dress up. Each person has usually some kind of time restraint so incase it's going bad, you have an excuse to leave. And then there's not the awkwardness of later, nighttime, etc.... Also, one doesn't have to worry about the date getting smashed over dinner, cause if he starts drinking at noon, usually good indication of no date #2.

OK! I must away, to ready myself.....

Lovely Weather

Ok, I know this awesome coolness of weather we are having wont last long, but I am relishing in it! There are so many things I want to do, to bask in all it crisp glory, but when the ideas stike me as awesome and fun or romantic, I sigh, and alas, realize that very few men, including my bf, and most husbands, don't share the same love. Here are some of the things I really want to do right now....

Go to Bates Nut Farm with no kids in tow.

Walk down grand ave and purusing antique shops, book stores, coffee shops, etc...

Put on my cute boots with jeans and a scarf and going to either fashion valley or horton plaza, window shop and look at cute sweaters.

Drive up to Julian and having some cider and pie and walking around.

Go in my sweats to Barnes & Noble and browse in there for a few hours.

Bake. Cook. Bake some more. OK this last one, the guys love, but Im tired. I wish my grandma was closer so I could have someone cook for me delicious food.

It's times like these when I wish I had my very own Will or Jack :)

Oh well.

xoxo

Fudge You Alls!

!!!! Wide Awake!!!!!

Ok, I am still kinda like, I don't get it, but I don't care and I'm still reading. WHy are there no vampires? I don't get it, but I like it. AND I freaking want some cookies! Fudge You Alls (hehe) for making me read it, now I can't stop and have done no studying all day, and will have annoyed boy friend because when he comes over in a bit, I'm not sure if I can stop reading....

:)

But Im still still really confused and I would really like some vampire or hunky Rez boys right about now. Speaking of which, really NICE pics of whats-his-name- Jacob on the Red Carpet, so hot.

And I feel like this Edward role was written for Rob, like it's just him.....? idk.